Following Your Breath

It is interesting you know....

The cicadas are starting up their full-blown symphony over where Sheila lives and apparently that sound drives a lot of people nuts.

When I talked about my village chimes going off regularly many people said that it would drive them nuts.

Then my beloved Sheila commented the following...

In our town many many years ago there were chimes that were played from the tower of the very large church on the square. It was nice to listen to occasionally, but my dear, if I had to hear that every day, on the dot without fail and without deviation, I would go mad.

I just think maybe after noticing that the cicada's are annoying and that if I had to listen to those chimes and those announcements that I am figuring something out about ME. I don't do well with a routine that can't be altered. Routine is comforting. But it has to be something I control and not an outside force, like those chimes. I think that no matter how many ways I would choose to change my routine, those incesent chimes would eventually piss me off.

I know of many people who find external noise to be extremely disrupting. Mayu cannot stand the sound of construction, especially on her days off. It drives her mad. To me, it's just a part of what's "there". I must admit that when I was young I could not study with any external sound stimuli and had to close my door, close the window and focus.

Even now, I find that music playing while I am at the wheel degrades my driving skills dramatically because I prefer to listen to the sounds of the engine, the wind coming through the cracks in the car parts closures (doors, body, window), the sound of my tires on the road, the sound of other vehicles coming and going... They all seem like music to me, but in a natural way that enhances my presence of being as I am driving. And when I drive being present, I feel alive, and in control, and aware, and it feels good. It feels good...

But I'm working on the music thing in the car, too....

Sheile's comment above led me to an "aha" moment such as those that Oprah talked about so often in her online lessons with Eckhart Tolle as they discussed and "studied" his book "A New Earth" online...

I go about my day, and when the chimes come in, and I notice them, I stop, breathe, enjoy the moment... and look at the darn new "caterpillar dust" rash that is on my right arm again this morning! (and right knee, too). Must have been when I was bent over on my hands and knees yesterday working on my bike, in the moss....

Remember... You have an ego, but your ego is not you. You HAVE a mind, but you are not your mind.

And if your mind starts to go crazy at the thought of outside influences "controlling" your freedom, it's time to begin practicing being the observer of your mind, and letting those thoughts come and go:

How?

See them forming in your mind, be aware that they are there, recognize them, acknowledge their presence, but don't try to fight them.

Then take control through breathing, and put them in a paper bag in your mind, then place the paper bag on a river, and watch them float away.

"I am aware of taking a long breath in......"

"I am aware of letting a long breath out....."

"I am aware of the thoughts in my mind....."

"I am aware that my mind is silent....."

"I am aware taking a deep, slow breath in................"

"I am aware of letting out a deep, slow, long breath...."

This will allow you to work on detatching the spinning thoughts from any former incidents that may have caused the memory to be hardwired to an emotion, and thus to a physiological response of frustration.

I am working on this very thing now as I have lost a lot of my love for cycling specifically because over the past six years while riding, I would think, process, analyze about things so much that eventually they became linked to the cadence of my pedaling. And I found that instead of feeling physically tired but mentally, emotionally, and psychologically re-energized, I would return physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and stressed. And after doing this for six years, it became hardwired in my brain so that the physical action of rotating my pedals, caused the brain to leap into action and start spinning in the mire.

Yesterday during my ride I had a most amazing experience! I spent the entire 50 minutes being aware of everything I saw, felt, heard, smelled, tasted and touched. I was aware of my breath, my lungs, the lactic acid buildup, the sweat, the damp air, the clammy skin, the breeze, the sound of the gravel under my tires, the bugs around my face, the clinking of the metal in my bike, the rotation of the chains, the sounds of the metal of my shoe clips grinding against the metal of the pedal clip holders, the shifting sounds, the birds, the frogs, the water, the wind, the sight of the rocks I needed to avoid, everything.

And during this time, to achieve this, I was constantly talking in my mind, in the present, being aware, noticing everything and not just noticing it, but actually telling myself I was noticing it. In so doing, it allowed me to move from one NOW moment to the next, and to the next, and the next until the 50 minutes of being present, had passed into the past and were beyond me, and could not harm me, nor bring any more pleasure, as they were gone.

It was ... stunning!

And I was also making myself aware of the fact that this was the first of the beginning of many now moments where my cadence and my pedaling were linked to the present moment, and no longer linked to the spinning of the past, or the worry over non-existent future moments.

Just... wow.....

Through being mindful of your breathing, and other minute "now" moments (minute = small, not time) during the day this can be achieved as you link them together. Focusing on "just right now" continually, being aware of it, and the next thing you know, the BEING has been going on for a duration of time!

Of course there are lapses when the mind starts thinking things without your permission (the mind is an entity of its own... it is not you), but when you become aware of this, you can tell your mind that you are aware of it, and then gently, but firmly bring yourself back to the present by once again following your breath...

"I am aware of taking a long breath in......"

"I am aware of letting a long breath out....."

Once you can do this (through Tolle's concept of "presence", and being mindful of your breath), that "driving me mad" melts away and the chimes that come on at fixed times of the day, or the cicada that are there in a very very loud din, or any other external "influence" just becomes another part of the world around you, that you are moving through without resistance, flowing with instead of fighting against.

A couple of years ago Nancy told me that when she was young the sounds of her children arguing, fighting, and being really noisy used to really negatively affect her moods until one day one of her "mentors" told her to "just don't hear it". She didn't understand what that meant at first, but she practiced it, and after a while she was able to "not hear" the sounds.

I imagine that what she was really doing was something very similar - learning not to let outside noise affect her inside peace. It's not easy, but with practice, it can be achieved. Even if you feel that "nothing affects you", there are probably things that do. When you chance upon one of those moments, if you keep this discussion in your mind, you can begin to focus on your breath, on inner peace, on presence, on being on "not hearing" or not being affected by the external influence...

Be aware of your breath....

The more I read, the more I see all of the spiritual leaders (I'm not talking about leaders of "institutionalized religion") talk about the importance of being mindful of your breath, and I am seeing the positive effects it has in my real world now by practicing it even for one breath, whenever I think to do so (like right now)....

We have all heard "just breathe.... relax now... everything's going to be ok..." through our lives, but moreso than ever, focusing on those breaths, and not just breathing (because the body knows how to do that without our awareness, without our consciousness), by being conscious of each breath, being aware of each breath, it brings us into the NOW moment.

And NOW is all we have.

The past is gone, it cannot harm us.

The future doesn't even exist except as we imagine it (usually wrongly so) in our mind. But we can only imagine a future that is based on our past experiences. And if the past is gone, then we are basing our future fantasies on things that are gone. And that does not work well.

So breathe....

And be mindful of your breath...

In everything you do, especially the little "brief, mindless activities" that are not linked to any thoughts, or any spinning (unlocking/locking your house door, putting detergent in the laundry machine, picking your nose, putting on lipstick, scratching your butt, pulling on a sock, and more...)

It becomes kind of like moving through water; you know the water offers resistance, and the resistance will always be there while your body is moving in that water, so you accept it, release yourself to it, and the resistance ceases to be.....

I love you!